DullChameleon
Posts : 166
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Join date : 2013-06-22
 |  Subject: Dolphedore's Army Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:19 am | |
| The show comes back from commercial to an image of a trading card Voice: One man to restore class in the WCF darkness, in the wrestling wasteland where shadows lie, one man to rule them all, one man to find them, one man to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,The camera pulls back from the card, and turns to the right to reveal Dolph Ziggler. That's right ladies and gentlemen, though there are precious few of either amongst this seething mass of obesity, Topps finally pulled their heads out of their asses and gave Dolph Ziggler the type of card he deserves. A classic match. A classic victory, all captured in the gritty realism of a black and white photograph. Damn it's classy. Hell, it's classier than Ron Burgundy, and I should know; I've got a cameo in the upcoming film, Anchorman 2: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. See, these movie producers know which superstars are going to bring people to the movie theater, the Show Off, the Rising Son, Dolph Ziggler. The powers that be in this company know the same thing since they have personally backed me to bring home the gold at No Mercy. But you know who doesn't know it? Who doesn't even seem to be aware of the shit storm he's unleashed? CM Punk.The crowd cheers as Ziggler mentions Punk's nameYes, that's right you trolls, cheer a man who embodies everything that is wrong with the WCF. Cheer a man who can't even give a wrestling icon like myself the respect he deserves, even after I've carried him on my back for the past six months. But enough of that. I didn't ask for this interview to talk about CM Punk. I didn't ask for this interview to recite poetry, although I nailed that poem. I asked for this interview to challenge something Punk said last week in his interview. Punk said I couldn't win at No Mercy because I haven't been able to get it done yet, because I'm not good enough to win the "big one". He told all of you imbeciles that he wasn't worried about our match because, in his own idiotic ramblings, "your gunna need and army , and we both know you dont got one". Forget for a moment, that's hardly even English, and let's just focus on the content. Surprisingly Punk, I actually agree with you. I couldn't get the championship on my own. I tried, and I tried, and I tried again, but I just couldn't win that beautiful gold belt. I've done a lot of complaining about why that is and I've made a lot of excuses, but then it hit me. In order to win that belt, I do need an army. You were right Punk. Except, in some lapse of reason, you decided that I don't have one. Well, Punk, I do have an army. To start, I've got an army of creative, highly skilled, classy fans who create art like this in homage to their golden idol: me. The last time I saw graffiti of you Punk it was in a men's room stall on I-90 and there was a great big - well, you and Big Johnny know exactly what I'm talking about. At No Mercy, those fans are going to show up in droves, all wearing bring pink shirts and bright pink sunglasses and it won't be clobbering time then Punk, no, it'll be time to show off. Secondly, I've got two of the best and most powerful minds in the business working for me Punk. Right now, Stephanie and Paul Heyman are in a room close by coming up with how we're going to screw you out of that title. We're going to be blatant about it Punk. I'm going to win that title and if I have to cheat, if I have to bribe officials, if I have to sell my soul to the devil, that's what I'm going to do Punk. So, I've got two of the best generals in the world marshalling the troops, ready to advance on your position. Looks like I've got any army to go with these two guns, doesn't it Punk? And that's not even the best part Punk. I've got two captains in my army Punk that I know strike fear into the heart of you and your little fun bunch. On my left, I've got Cody Rhodes, the man who led the greatest stable this business has ever known, a man who brought Rise straight to the top, a man who can out think and out wrestle you Punk. And, on my right, I've got the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar. Sure, he's dumb as a sack of broken bricks, but the man is terrifying. Believe me, I know. I went toe to toe with him just last month and came this close to beating him. But hell, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em right buddy? Except, that doesn't seem to be something you ever learned. You're still trying to be the straight edge superstar, standing up against the Corporation, standing up against "the man", desperately trying to achieve some street cred from the fans who stopped caring about you as soon as you left Ring of Honor. After I destroy you at No Mercy, I'm going to let Brock Lesnar loose on you Phil, and the results will not be pretty. How's that for any army Punk? Perhaps when you spoke last week, you were talking about your own situation. It's you who has no army Punk. You've got the most boring man in the world as your "brains", the man who made "What?" a popular catchphrase, I mean my god, how is that still being chanted, you people are so dumb, and a washed up, bitter, wannabe king who is just mad his wife chose me over him to lead the company into the future. By the way, next time you want to intimidate me, you're going to have send more than just Hunter with a sledgehammer he can barely lift anymore. I've got an army Punk. I've got the kind of army that sends people screaming, and all you've got is a bunch of idiotic tattoos and memories of matches that people actually cared about. I'm the future Punk, you're the past. It's time to acknowledge and accept that. It's time to get off the show and make room for the Show Off. It's like your sister texted me early this morning about last night. It's not showing off, if you back it up xoxoxo.
See you at No Mercy Phil.The camera fades to black and we return to the show. | |
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