Dead Sheik Walking

The scene is set in the locker room of none other than The Iron Sheik, who is on the phone with his doctor, as his agent watches and tries not to laugh.



The Iron Sheik:
I wanna know, are you de man? Or are you a fackin piece of shet, no gud motherfocker? I need my pills today, man. Don't fack with me and tell me that you no bring me the pills for the Monday Night Raw. Come on, man you gotta help Sheikie, have bad headache for 2 weeks.

Doctor:

The latest day we can get it is TOMORROW....

The Iron Sheik:

FACK DE TOMORROW! YOU NO FACK THE WRONG GUY TONIGHT!



FACKIN BOULSHET!

Sheik's agent can't help but burst out in laughter, while Sheik angrily hangs up the phone. Sheik gives his agent a dirty look, then slaps him on the shoulder.

The Iron Sheik:

Hey don't fackin laugh at me! I'll fuck your ass again just like the Sunday, where you told the Jake Roberts that Sheikie is ONLY in top ten vorld champion and Sheikie always get heat with the Kennedy McMahon when EVERYBODY KNOW that I LOVE the Kennedy McMahon, and I RESPACT the Kennedy McMahon! NEVER talk the shit to me again, you fackin faget! I break your back, fuck your ass, make you humble, understand? My 10 inch cock wrestle match better than you, fackin stupid the agent.

Sheik's agent whimpers a bit before quietly asking:

Agent:

Do you want to get this interview started?

Sheik nods his head, then goes over to the fridge where he gets himself a good, cold beer. He pops open the cap, and Sheik's agent takes out his camera to start recording.

Agent:

Ladies and gentlemen, we are here with none other than The Iron Sheik himself! Sheik, you mind if we ask you a couple of questions regarding your wrestling career?

The Iron Sheik:

Are you going to fackin ask me the question or not? You are slow like the Bobby Dead Dog Dick Roo.



Agent:

You've been noted for not thinking very highly of the current generation of professional wrestling. In fact, there have been stories all over the internet regarding your hatred for Drew McIntyre, of all people. Could you elaborate on that?

The Iron Sheik:

Drew McEnShit is WORSE than Ultimate Warrior, WORSE than the Larry Zybysko! I go to convention, I sit in one booth, he sits in another, the people, they want the autograph. But McEnDick NEVER sign the autograph, even though he babyface. He say, "No, get the fuck outta here." That is why he is another example of a punk motherFOCKER, stupid Scot shit with 2 centimeter baby dick! You NEVER shet on the intelligent wrestling fans, you piece of shet! I can beat de fock outta you with the end of my little finger, faget ponytail little shet! I see you ANYWHERE, I smack the shet outta you with my 10 inch cock! Fuck your ass! And you know, I'm gonna fuck your sister ass too, fuck your father, fuck your grandmother.........I'm no going to fuck your mother because I RESPACT the mother! Hey Drew, FACK YOU!



Agent:

......Right. Recently another superstar has just signed a contract with the company, more specifically The Undertaker. Any thoughts?

The Iron Sheik:

The Taker, you are GUD. You are de BEST. You are BETTER than de BEST. But I still RESPACT The Taker, but he know that if he fuck with me, I put him in camel clutch, fuck his ass EXTRA!! But still, I love him, and I RESPACT him. He strange motherfocker, with the guyliner, purple fackin faget gloves, but he not bad like the Nikolai, cheap Jew motherfocker owe me 2 dollar from the bar, stupid shet!

Sheik chugs the beer bottle, and throws it down on the ground, breaking it instantly. He stretches a bit.

The Iron Sheik:

Ok, no more for today. I'm finish.

Sheik then fixes his mustache so that it is perfectly aligned, then opens the door to head out. He looks around before he notices something strange, something a bit "out of this world"......

[To be continued by the certain someone I contacted........]

Obscenities Do Nothing but Hastes Your Journey To The SUN.
Torment and pain… They’ll do wondrous things to you while testing the limits of your character, you see you’ll never know what a person is capable of till he is put in a position where he no longer wants to live… when he no longer wants to breathe. I’ve seen my fare share of torment and dished out twice that amount myself… I’ve fought against monsters and Satan himself, I’ve held awards and been in position of power… And through it all I’ve remained as I begun...dead. I’ve survived the depths of hell itself fought against a men with sinister attempts at my life, lived through fatal and torturous injuries –I’ve even lost my very soul in a time better left forgotten.

I’ve been stabbed, burned, pummeled, and even thrown off mountains… Yet here I stand

I’ve been through more than what someone like the Iron Sheik can ever hope to possibly dish out, I’ve stood face to face with destiny… And watched as it blinked… I fear no man, no woman.. And No administration… They call me a Demon, not because of my Power, not because of my skill… But because it’s merely factual, and soon enough Iran’s finest will come face to face with this legendary resolve…

||Chapter One – The Iron Sheik ||
[[The lights in the arena go out, engulfing the crowd in darkness. The sounds of gongs begin to play over the PA system.]]
Anail Nathrak,
Dorthnei Diednei,
Accept the Lord Of Darkness As Your Saviour,

Bathnal Nathra,
De Era,
Allow The Purity Of Evil To Guide You.

Anail Nathrak,
Dorthnei Diednei,
Anail Nathrak, De Era Umbrana




[[The fans stand to their feet in attention SILENCED in terror over the magnitude of the entrance of The Demon himself. Suddenly there’s a FLASH as fireworks EXPLODE illuminating the ramp only briefly causing the tension in the arena to grow to a fever pitch]]


[[Smokes begins to manifest itself in the arena as strobe lights flicker on and off around the arena as the stage slowly becomes engulfed in purple lights. , Suddenly he appears through a thick haze of fog … the demon himself appears in the middle of the ring, The Undertaker has arrived…]]


The Undertaker; The Demon: Listen…


[[The Undertaker moves back and forth in the center of the ring as he keeps the most stern of faces until he finally halts and tilts his heard outward and smirks]]


The Undertaker; The Demon: Listen, listen to the sounds of deafening silence, listen to the cougar searching for his meal, listen to the boy in row 23E asking his mother for cotton candy, most importantly…listen to ME.


The Undertaker; The Demon: Chi is preparing himself for an endeavor you all will start to become familiar with soon enough but not before he mentioned a name. A name that will be the first name crossed out in the list of infidels I will devour to get what I came here for;
The World Heavyweight Title.

[[The Undertaker lifts his cranium to view the stage as he gestures to the titan tron and electricity hits the stage and an image of the Sheik comes up, accompanied by a video sheik released a few hours ago]]




The Undertaker; The Demon: An infidel who speaks with such disregard for his own life is not a man who I concern myself with in regards to having his respect, the reality is while I may have yours, you most certainly don’t have mines…


The Undertaker; The Demon: You are nothing more than a fool who thinks he can go against death itself and look at it in the eye and think he will get out of it unscathed, the problem is…Iron Shiek…I’m not a war…I’m no Hogan and I most certainly am not A MAN.


[[The demon begins to get on his knee and put his hand out as fog begins to manifest itself once more and to such an intense amount that the entire crowd is blinded by the intense fog]]


Anail Nathrak,
Dorthnei Diednei,
Anail Nathrak, De Era Umbrana


[[A large shadow starts to appear from the fog initially it’s thought to be the demon himself but then shadow speaks as the fog that previously engulfed this man begins to dissipate]]




[[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]



[[From the shadows appears the unmistakable Paul Bearer as he rises from the dissipating fog with both hands held high and unveils the URN]]

The Undertaker; The Demon: Many have wondered and many have found but one thing is certain…


[[The Demon passes the speaking apparatus to Bearer as he bows to The Undertaker and puts the URN down]]


Paul Bearer; The Keeper: We all wither and die, and for you Sheik there will be no life after death, there will be no keeper saving you from peril, what do you expect to accomplish against my Undertaker? A higher level entity that is already dead? How do you stop that which is not of this earth?



The Undertaker; The Demon: You don’t…and that’s the point, you can say you obscenities sheik but the reality is you’re nothing more than number 1 on my list of victims to the world title, and soon enough you will find out that it’s not you that will fornicate my posterior, it shall be the ravens that defecate on your body after I’m done with you…

[[Paul Bearer begins to grind in a grandstanded manner he then lowers himself to pick up the urn on one arm while looking at the demon and holding the speaking apparatus in the other hand]]


Paul Bearer; The Keeper: Iron Sheik you have no idea what you’ve done, all you did was anger my Undertaker and now the only future you have to look forward to is the future of despair and sorrow and ultimately your own magnificent demise at the hands of my Undertaker, you soon shall…


     .:The Undertaker; The Demon:. :

  REST…

IN…

PEACE!


[[Fogs begins to imminate in the arena as it begins to shroud the entire ring with an immensely thick fog; as this unfolds the gong sounds go off through the PA system and the fog begins to decipate and with it so does The Undertaker and Bearer]]

[[Lights go out as the screen turns completely black... ]]


[Promo Closed . Feedback is always appreciated, L'chaim]