Thursday night SmackDown! returns from a commercial break to find Cody Rhodes, dressed up in a snappy suit, walking throughout the backstage hallways. He stops in front of a black door and knocks three times. After just a few seconds he knocks another three times, this time louder. He can hear someone talking on the other side of the door and knocks another three times, shouting, "open the door!" Finally the door swings open and out walks Brodus Clay. He stares down Cody then walks off, another figure taking his place.
Dr. Shelby
Make sure to practice those exercises I taught you, Brodus! We need to relieve you of your anger!
a distant, "fuck you!" can be heard as Clay exits the scene. Cody looks at Dr. Shelby and shakes his head.
Cody
Aren't you going to invite me in?
Dr. Shelby
I don't think I have you scheduled for an appointment, do I? Let me check *he pulls out a small green book* dah, dah- no that's not you. . .
Cody
I don't have an appointment you idiot! I'm here to talk to you about Steve Austin! Now invite me in!
Shelby is taken back. He nods his head then steps to the side, letting Cody into his office. Once inside Cody shakes his head again, looking around at all of the anger management tools and toys. Shelby notices this and laughs.
Dr. Shelby
Pretty stupid, huh? I-
Cody
Shut up and listen to me.
Shelby gulps as Cody moves closer to him.
Cody
Like I said, I'm here to talk to you about Stone Cold Steve Austin. I know that as part of his sentencing for his attack on myself and Stephanie McMahon earlier in the week, he has to attend your idiotic anger management class two times a week. But I think he should attend your class. . . Full time, don't you? So here's what you're going to do, you're going to recommend to the board that he be admitted to a full time program with yourself. That way he can work on his anger problems with you and he won't be able to make it to Survivor Series! It benefits us all really. So why don't you just go ahead and pick up the phone.
Shelby gulps once again, looking down at the pad of paper he's holding in his hands.
Dr. Shelby
Cody. . . I- I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. I mean sure, he's got some anger problems, and a drinking problem and an attitude problem- he has a lot of problems! But I can't just recommend him for a full time program in my class, I just can't! Nor would I if I could! What I am going to do however is recommend that you take my class two times a week, along with Steve. That way you two can work our your differences and get rid of all this hate you hold inside yourselves!
Cody's eyes widen as Shelby says this. You can see the vein in his forehead popping out as Shelby begins to write something down on his pad. Shelby, after finishing what he needed to write, looks up at Cody and realizes he's angered him.
Dr. Shelby
Now, Cody, I realize you may be a bit upset, but let's not see this as a bad thing! You need to get all of that pent up anger out of your system! It's not doing you any good as the United States Champion! You need to have a clear head and a strong will to be a good champion!
Cody begins to breath heavily, his eyes peering into Shelby's.
Cody
What are you trying to say!? That I'm not a good enough champion!? That I don't deserve to be the United States Champion!?
Dr. Shelby
Hey! I didn't say that, I just-
Cody
I AM THE UNITED STATES CHAMPION FOR A REASON! THAT CHAMPIONSHIP IS RIGHTFULLY MINE, AND I DEMAND YOUR RESPECT! I DEMAND EVERYONE'S RESPECT!
Dr. Shelby
Cody, please lower your voice, there's no need to yell! I do respect you! I was just saying that at your current state, Survivor Series isn't looking that good for you!
Cody backs up, taking a deep breath.
Cody
OH! So now I'm going to lose at Survivor Series!? Now you're saying that Stone Cold is going to beat me!? Just who do you think your are!? I'm Cody Rhodes goddammit, I'm the United States Champion! I'm better than that redneck piece of garbage! What's the matter with you!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?
Dr. Shelby
I'm sorry, Cody! I didn't mean to say it like that! Just please, calm down, take deep breaths! In *he inhales* out *he exhales*. Do it with me now! In. . . Out. . .
Cody
Screw you Shelby! And screw your stupid breathing exercises! I know how to breath damn you! I'm Cody Rhodes!
He begins to leave the room, screaming the entire time.
Cody
I'm Cody Rhodes! I know how to breath! What do you think, I'm THAT stupid!? I'm not! I'm the United States Champion! I'm Cody Rhodes!
As Cody's voice get's farther and farther away, Shelby eyes get smaller and he let's out a deep sigh of relief.
???
Now just what in the blue hell is this I hear about "anger management classes"!? Stone Cold ain't angry, he's just Stone Cold!
Steve Austin stands in the doorway, dumping a beer over his head. The camera fades out on the image of Dr. Shelby putting his head back, whispering, "dear lord" under his breath.
(Closed. I'd love some feedback!)
