Posts : 53 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2013-10-06 Age : 28 Location : Scotland
Subject: Zack Ryder Gets a New Broski Sun Oct 27, 2013 8:49 am
Once the commercial ends, the camera swaps to the commentary team of Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.
Cole: Remember folks next month is Survivor Series and the one year anniversary of WCF! Now so far tonight we have had some intense matches and men like Johnny Curtis now have people coming after their titles. Up next, we deal with another title whe-
Michael Cole is cut off mid-sentence by the familiar yet slightly different version of a certain superstar's music. It belongs to Zack Ryder, who makes his way out to the ring to a mediocre response from the crowd. There is a man by his side, accompanying him to the ring. This man has a swagger which is part of his walk to the ring.
Lawler: Oh no, not Zack Ryder! Last time he had a mic, he made us listen to him sing. Not again!
Cole: That is correct and on that same night we saw him be verbally berated by RAW GM Ms Stephanie McMahon. Ryder does seem to be happy, maybe the incident didnt affect him too much.
The two men enter the ring and Zack walks into the middle with his mic. His friend stands in the corner, his own mic in hand.
Zack Ryder: What's up everbody, it's Long Island Iced Z, ZACK RYDER!
Zack pauses for a response, and is met with a half-hearted cheer.
Zack Ryder: I think you all didn't hear me. It's your Broski, ZACK RYDER!
Once again, a half-hearted cheer comes from the crowd. Zack Ryder chuckles.
Zack Ryder: You see that? That's why I'm here. Tonight is No Mercy, the last PPV before we've gone full circle! The last PPV before we celebrate one year of wrestling in WCF! I'd say tonight is just as big an event as Survivor Series will be, because tonight is where we begin the path to Survivor Series. The path, to one full year as a company. And it's been a sssssiiiiiiick show so far! Anyone who is anyone has a match tonight, which brings me to a question: Why isn't Zack Ryder on the card?
Zack holds his hands up in confusion.
Zack Ryder: Well Zack Pack, the truth is that I was supposed to be on this show. I was going to get my rematch with Paul Wight,and I was going to give him one hell of a Rough Ryder! Then next thing I know, it's been cancelled! As you can guess, I was not cool with that. My Zack Pack need to see their leader, and I had to know who took it from them. So I did some undercover detective work, and discovered that the match had been cancelled by none other than Stephanie McMahon! I was like, "Are You Serious Bro?" My broskis are NOT going to be happy about this!
Zack looks around, receiving another mediocre response.
Zack Ryder: But then again, you dudes and dudettes don't care, do you? After Stephanie McMahon gave me some sick burns on RAW, I took to the Zack Ryder Twittersphere to see how mad all my broskis were. All the support I'm used to from you guys. You want to take a look at some tweets? I picked out a select few.
Zack turns to the titantron and Tweets begin to show on it.
"@Skidmarks187: lol, zack ryder just got whipped by stephanie mcmahon. no wonder his song sucked big time #RAW #thechampishere"
"@Arda_Ocal: Another over-the-top segment from Zack Ryder. It feels like this gimmick got old two years ago #RAW"
"@DieCobros: Zack Ryder? What the Hell's he doing in the RAW Arena? Shows how much I pay attention to who is actually in WCF #milan"
"@the_ironsheik: Zack Ryder the long island iced z or the small dick go fuck yourself? #makehimhumble"
The crowd is laughing and a small IRON SHEIK chant begins. Zack Ryder is just shaking his head.
Zack Ryder: I never realised just how bad I looked. I always thought I had you all behind me, my Zack Pack. Yet it seems I'm just not cutting it in your eyes. I've had to do everything myself in this business. Me and Curt Hawkins had to go to Edge so we could actually get on T.V. . I had to become my own hype man. I had to make shows like Long Island True Story and Zack Ryder's Iced 3. It seems though that I've run out of ideas. So I went to someone who knows what they're doing. I'd like to welcome all of you, to my new Image Consultant and Manager, ENZO AMORE!
Enzo Amore steps forward, fistbumping Zack Ryder. The crowd make next to no response for him.
Enzo Amore: My name, is Enzo, Amore!
Enzo speaks in a thick New Jersey accent.
Enzo Amore: So am sittin' in this sick club. We got everything: we got ourselves some tequila, we got ourselves some vodka, and we got ourselves some fine ladies. And am drinkin' with this chick when I see this dude walk past me with a lady. And I look at this dude like.. "I know this dude." So I shout him and his lady over and I'm like "Where you from dude?" He tells me he's from LI. Now I don't spend too much time in LI myself 'cos most people there, they ain't real. They're all phonies and fake tough guys, no offence Z. So I can't figure out why I know this guy, and I want to know. So I ask him "Dude, you want to head upstairs to the V.I.P. room? Me and my girl were just heading up."
So the 4 of us head up and we start on some Henessey. The chicks are talkiing 'bout their nails and that crap and I'm taking to this guy and he asks who I am. I tell him "Me? I'm Enzo Amore. Who the hell are you?" And he tells me he's Zack Ryder. And that's when I realise who he is. He's Long Island Iced Z! WCF wrestler! Now this was a few days after he got burned by lil' miss McMahon so I says to him "Bro, you got made out to be a chump on National Television." He just laughs a bit and I'm like "Woah. You laughin'? Some lil' broad who thinks that whats her daddys is hers makes you out to be a chump and you're laughin'?" I go by a motto you see. A woman's mouth is only good for one thing and if this product is only tv-14 then she got nothin' to do with it.
The crowd responds with massive amounts of booing after Amore's sexist remark.
Enzo Amore: Anyway, me and my boy keep talkin' I tell him about how I recognised him, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. And I tells him that the fact that I had so much trouble figuring it out is a big problem for him. He's supposed to be a member of the biggest wrestling promotion in the world, and I can't even remember his name! He's got potential, to be the biggest star on this planet. But potential ain't a currency you can spend with the A-listers. You gotta mould that potential and turn it into success. So I says to him "You could be a star Z. What you need, is someone to get you there."
And that's where we stand now. I stand before you a representative of Zack Ryder. I'm here to turn pre-shows into main events. To turn opening RAW to main eventing Wrestlemania. To turn matches into title matches and to turn clubs into stadiums. Everything about him I am going to perfect into a star. What he wears, how he speaks, how he wrestles. You hear that entrance music? That was my cousin Tony who remixed it with me standin' over him tellin' em what I wanted. It's these things that I will do to turn Ryder into the star he should be. My boy's name is going to light up Madison Square Garden into the Sistine Chapel and up on that roof is going to be this broski's face.
BADABOOM!
Zack Ryder: You know it.
Zack Ryder's music hit as the two fist bump again and make their way up the ramp.
Lawler: This is going to be excruciating.
Cole:That was uhm, Zack Ryder and Enzo Amore folks... Oh god..
[Promo closed. Feedback welcome and appreciated.]
Suntanners
Posts : 201 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2013-06-22 Age : 33
Subject: Re: Zack Ryder Gets a New Broski Tue Oct 29, 2013 6:20 am
