DullChameleon
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 |  Subject: Return of the Jedi Mind Games Mon Sep 02, 2013 10:32 am | |
| Raw comes back from commercial and we see Dolph Ziggler talking on the phone. Dolph: No Mom, the Legion collapsed. I've already told you this...yeah....yes......yes....ok, I love you Mom.....of course I'm being safe.....yes and in the bedroom......ok Mom, well, I've got to go, the whole stealing the show and everything.....ok......ok......OK Mom, I will..........yes, I love you too./color]
Dolph hangs up the phone and Josh Matthews appears with a microphone.
Josh: Hello Mr. Ziggler. I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?
Of course you can Josh, I've got nothing better to do than stand around and answer canned questions from a dressed up monkey.
Matthews looks briefly perturbed but bravely carries on.
Well, Dolph, you've been gone for almost a month, and even though you returned last week you have remained uncharacteristically silent. What's going on?
I'm glad you asked Josh. As you well know, after stealing the show at Dolphapolooza despite losing all of my matches, I decided it was time to form a new power group in this business. Cody Rhodes won the rights to the Rise name and trademark, but I was the one who put together four men who were poised to take over the WCW or WWF or WCF or whatever the hell the powers that be are calling it these days. I know that we always claimed that there was no leader, but let's be perfectly honest Josh, I was the damn leader. And this was made painfully apparent when, after leaving the company for only a few short weeks for some much need R&R, The Legion turned against each other and dissolved within seconds of my absence. I mean, Curtis Axel isn't even with the company anymore, and it's like Randy Orton is a whole new person. Punk and I are still on good terms, but Punk's found a conscience since my absence and if there's one thing I cannot abide it's a conscience. So, all my hard work and plans collapse and fail to bear fruit. I return to the ring, not with trumpets blasting the Legion's meteoric rise, but by myself, with little fanfare. Yes, I superkicked a set of steel steps straight through Kenta's skull. Yes, I smashed Dean Ambrose's head in with a steel chair time after time after time. Yes, I outlasted nearly everyone else in a battle royal to almost earn another title shot against Captain Baldy. Yes, I took Christian to the absolute limit and helped him wrestle a good match for the first time in months, a match so good that even this guy was impressed.
Look Josh, we all know Christian has a major issue with me because I took his place in Rise, but it's time for the man to get over it. He was dead weight, and I helped Rise become the most dominant stable in wrestling history. It's that easy to understand, yet Christian walks around with this chip on his shoulder because he's jealous of me.
And, listen, Christian, I get it. Hell, I'd want to be me if I wasn't already this awesome. So now, you've got a little victory over me, and you've got your new little clubhouse with Cody, Shelton, and MVP. What are you guys calling yourselves these days? The Enterprise? Is that right Josh?
Yes, that's right Dolph.
I mean, I don't want to steal the Miz's catch phrase, but really? Really? You named yourselves after a rental car company? Whose idea was that? I mean, do you pick each other up? Do you car pool to the gigs? Or, are you all just huge nerdy fans of Star Trek? Do the four of you enjoy beaming each other up? To boldly go where no other man would want to go. Christian, you were once an amazing wrestler man. What happened? Now you're hiding behind some weak stable trying to recapture the faded glory of your past? I pity you Christian, I really do.
I don't want to interrupt here Dolph, but it doesn't sound like your attitude has changed at all while you've been gone.
My attitude changed? Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Why the hell would my attitude change? People come to shitty little arenas like this all over America just to see me. I'm not one of these guys who disappears for a month or two and then comes back and embraces the sheep that are bleating in the audience. I'm not going to pretend that the average wrestling fan doesn't disgust me or that the majority of the guys back here are not even good enough to watch my matches, let alone get in the ring with me.
Josh: But Dolph, your record is catastrophic, you've been here for almost a year and you've only won a handful of matches.
Let me stop you right there Josh.
Dolph leans against the wall in disbelief.
I mean I expected more from you Josh, I really did. I don't know why I did, since you're clearly just a tanned manikin dressed in a cheap suit occasionally paraded out on TV to reach the what, pre-teen female audience? Who has had more title shots in this business than me? Who has headlined more pay per views than me? Who is constantly on the short list for wrestler of the year? For match of the year? It's me Josh. Dolph Ziggler. The Rising Son. The Show Off.
Let me make something very clear to you Josh. Wins and losses don't matter. The match results are irrelevant. It's all just part of the storyline. Those overweight idiots wearing out their seats just down that hallway need results to keep them entertained. They need to have a story. They need to have a bad guy. They need to boo someone. They need to take all of their frustration with their meaningless lives and useless jobs and project it onto someone incredibly successful, handsome, and athletic. I'm that guy Josh. I'm the bad guy. The bad guy can't win. It ruins the story. Imagine if the Snow White is killed by the queen. Imagine if Darth Vader and the Emperor win. The public wouldn't stand for it Josh. There would be rioting in the streets. So, I play my role. I get in that ring each night and work my ass off, and the people who are actually wrestling fans? They like me They want to see me in headline matches. Dare I say, they want me to be world champion. Once you get past all the glitz, the glamour, the camera tricks, all professional wrestling really is is two guys getting in a ring and beating the hell out of each other while trying to entertain a boozed up, raucous crowd. I know how to entertain that crowd Josh. I come from that crowd. So next time you want to come at me with records and streaks and other useless statistics that mean nothing....don't.
Dolph stares at Josh and walks off camera. Josh looks at the camera as it cuts back to the commentary team.
[Promo closed, feedback appreciated] | |
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DieCobros
Posts : 237
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| | Subject: Re: Return of the Jedi Mind Games Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:03 pm | |
| Dolph Ziggler DieCobros class #TeamCobros
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DJ
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| | Subject: Re: Return of the Jedi Mind Games Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:24 pm | |
| Cobros, go the fuck away, you're not wanted here.  | |
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DieCobros
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